{"id":100,"date":"2020-06-29T11:28:40","date_gmt":"2020-06-29T15:28:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blogs.duanemorris.com\/diversityandinclusion\/?p=100"},"modified":"2024-06-14T11:33:41","modified_gmt":"2024-06-14T15:33:41","slug":"representation-matters-and-its-good-business","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.duanemorris.com\/diversityandinclusion\/2020\/06\/29\/representation-matters-and-its-good-business\/","title":{"rendered":"Representation Matters and It\u2019s Good Business"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"MarkBy Mark Lerner\u00a0<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

When I started my legal career at a small firm over 25 years ago, I had trepidations over whether I could be myself and practice law.\u00a0 Would partners want to work with me?\u00a0 Would clients?\u00a0 I had come out of the closet before going to law school and was even a member of the law school\u2019s LGBT law student group. I didn\u2019t want to be back in the closet at work, but I was also afraid to be fully out. <\/p>\n

After I received an offer, I \u201couted\u201d myself to a hiring partner who seemed sympathetic so I could test the waters and see if I would be able to be open.\u00a0 That went OK, and I accepted the offer.\u00a0 However, after I arrived, I was warned by a couple of associates that I might want to be careful around certain partners, including, the head of the firm.\u00a0 (My mentor advised that it wasn\u2019t that he was homophobic, rather he just didn\u2019t really want to know about anybody\u2019s love life.\u00a0 Over time I realized that this was a rationalization and wasn\u2019t really true.)\u00a0 I didn\u2019t exactly go back in the closet, but I found myself censoring myself.\u00a0 I carefully excised references to my partner and was a bit vague and cagey in discussing what I had done over a weekend.\u00a0 (Back then, before we were married, I called him my partner.\u00a0 It was confusing in the law firm context.\u00a0 It\u2019s much easier now that I can just call him my husband.)<\/p>\n

After a while, when I was more confident that my legal skills were appreciated and that I was valued, I became more open and eventually brought my husband to firm events. The sky didn\u2019t fall.\u00a0 Nonetheless I was still often reserved with clients. I engaged in the same self-censorship when meeting new clients for the first time, and even beyond.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t fully answer questions and in casual conversation would elide facts that would signal I was gay.\u00a0 Eventually, I forced myself to end this practice as well. It seemed to me that the deepest client relationships were those in which clients were or became friends. How could this happen if they didn\u2019t actually know me?\u00a0 So I let down my guard and began being more authentic in conversations.\u00a0 Again the sky didn\u2019t fall.<\/p>\n

In fact, from both these new coming out journeys there were really only positive effects. First, I became more invested in the firm, since it was somewhere I could be comfortable being myself. Second, partners who I had been warned about became some of my biggest supporters. One shared with me the joy he experienced going to his first same-sex wedding. When I adopted a baby, another even commented that he thought I was doing a wonderful thing. Finally, I did indeed develop stronger relationships with my clients who came to know me as a person.\u00a0 I\u2019m not sure that being out has helped be get new business, but it has certainly strengthened my existing client relationships.\u00a0 It also made me a better lawyer, since it eliminated the unnecessary expenditure of psychic energy that is involved in worrying about who will know or find out or what I can say in a business setting.\u00a0 As a bonus, I believe that by being out and true to myself I changed some hearts and minds – of partners, and likely clients as well. Just being visible erased some of the mystery for them and made it harder for the to see me as somehow \u201cother.\u201d\u00a0 I realize how much representation and people hearing personal stories matters.\u00a0 It makes people realize there are more points of connection than differences: I\u2019m a dad as much as I\u2019m a \u201cgay dad.\u201d\u00a0 I have the same joys and struggles as a parent. I know I have been so appreciative of hearing the stories of diverse friends and colleagues over the past month.<\/p>\n

I would like to think the world has changed enough that today a young lawyer would never even have to think twice about being authentically themselves. (And thankfully the Supreme Court has now made it the law of the land that one cannot be fired for being authentically one\u2019s own gender or sexuality.)\u00a0 As Pride month comes to a close and we reflect on what is hopefully a meaningful awakening in this country to \u201cwhite privilege\u201d\/\u201cwhite fragility.\u201d I hope that young lawyers will keep moving the profession forward and pushing the system to truly recognize that our diversity is our greatest strength.\u00a0 It is true for the country as a whole and true for the practice and business of law.<\/p>\n

*This blog post series has been created to celebrate Pride.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Mark Lerner\u00a0 When I started my legal career at a small firm over 25 years ago, I had trepidations over whether I could be myself and practice law.\u00a0 Would partners want to work with me?\u00a0 Would clients?\u00a0 I had come out of the closet before going to law school and was even a member … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “Representation Matters and It\u2019s Good Business”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":490,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[6,90,109,13,27,108],"ppma_author":[47],"class_list":["post-100","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general","tag-diversity","tag-dm-pride","tag-duane-morris-pride","tag-inclusion","tag-mark-lerner","tag-pride-month"],"authors":[{"term_id":47,"user_id":490,"is_guest":0,"slug":"dmdandi","display_name":"Duane Morris Diversity and Inclusion","avatar_url":"https:\/\/blogs.duanemorris.com\/diversityandinclusion\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/39\/2020\/10\/dmlogo.jpg","0":null,"1":"","2":"","3":"","4":"","5":"","6":"","7":"","8":""}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.duanemorris.com\/diversityandinclusion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/100","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.duanemorris.com\/diversityandinclusion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.duanemorris.com\/diversityandinclusion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.duanemorris.com\/diversityandinclusion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/490"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.duanemorris.com\/diversityandinclusion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=100"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.duanemorris.com\/diversityandinclusion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/100\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.duanemorris.com\/diversityandinclusion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=100"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.duanemorris.com\/diversityandinclusion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=100"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.duanemorris.com\/diversityandinclusion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=100"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.duanemorris.com\/diversityandinclusion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/ppma_author?post=100"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}